Obligatory Episode III post

Is it just me, or was Obi-wan just a wee bit of a heartless bastard?

“He’s more machine tha man now…”
“Why?”

“I left him to die in agony of lava burns after I cut his legs off, only I didn’t reckon on his superhuman will to live, dark power coursing through his veins and the expressway between Coruscant and the lava planet. Still, I reckon he was in screaming agony for a good couple of hours there.”
“… Master Obi-Wan, is this a jealousy thing? Just because he was the first jedi to get laid for, like, ten centuries or something?”
“Luke, that way lies the dark side…”
“I mean, I can understand it… I’ve seen the pictures, mom was pretty hawt…”
“Lalala, dark side, can’t hear you, lalalalalalalalala….”
“I wonder if my lost twin sister’s hawt too…”
“Oh, for fucks sake. And stop buffing your lightsabre like that…”
“I built it, and I’ll buff it as hard and fast as I like.”

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4 thoughts on “Obligatory Episode III post

  1. I thought about that. I’d have thought that he would have killed Anakin out of mercy and because he needed to die. Except if he had we wouldn’t have had the other three movies.

    1. Definitely… I was expecting Annakin to go full immersion into the lava, apparently dead, then fwoosh when Obi-Wan had left… Generally, the Jedi came out of this looking like a bunch of self-important, arrogant, emotionally stunted dicks. But wizardly orders tend to… (goes off to wonder when to start reading the Earthsea books to his son).

  2. Once again you illustrate why he should just have left well enough alone. I was happy with the original three with the exception of fucking Ewoks. Someone again explain to me why he changed them from wookies? Was their a shortage on tall people in 1983?

    1. Ewoks. apparently some sort of pastoral thing for Lucas: he felt he needed a “primitive” society to take down the technological empire. He’d already had a technological wookie, hence.. Personally, I’m coming round to Star Wars being a fine movie on it;s own, but a lousy episode of a series. Capsule reviews: New Hope: Best action film ever ESB: Best war movie ever. Casablanca in space. RotJ: Carry on up the empire PM: pointless AoC: Bigggest pipe laying excercise since PLUTO RotS: About the only Prequel the other films could support. And in that respect, detracts from the best of them. IN terms of how much i like them, in order ESB SW RotS AoC PM RotJ Jedi makes me feel like I’m being battered by the stupid stick every five minutes, at least Lucas is trying (if tryign to do something pointless) in PM.

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