Following on from here, part of the front runner for most linked blog of ’05, a few thoughts on parenting, and on advice for parents behind the .
Firstly, no one knows what to do.
Because even the most fucked up parents can have cool, functional kids. And the most functional parents can have fucked up kids.
Notice that functional folks thank their parents, dysfunctional folks blame their parents, but it doesn’t matter what the parents did? Anyway.
Not only does no-one know what to do, I don’t think they can know what to do.
Partly because you while you may look at a dysfunctional person’s background and say “Well, when the parents did X, Y and Z, that’s what did it.” But it’s non- causal, because you can find someone who doesn’t juggle kittens for kicks whose parents did X, Y and Z.
Similarly, how the hell can you isolate good parenting of functional people? Is it only by default, do you parent well by just avoiding bad behaviours?
But the real kicker is, to find out The Secret of Good Parenting, you’d have to find someone with a completely un-fucked up personality.
I don’t know any, I don’t think I know anyone who knows any.
You know, someone who’s not only okay with themselves, but is demonstrably so to a jury of their peers.
Call me if you see one. I’ll whack the smug bastard.
And one other thing: the most useless advice on parenting ever can always be spotted due to the use of the phrase “It never did me any harm.”
How the hell do you know, who the hell are you to judge?
I can imagine them now. Charles Manson: “My mother beat me repeatedly with the flat iron. Never did me any harm!”
Harold Shipman; “I was forced to spend weekends alone with my senile grandmother who smelt of wee and made me wipe her arse for her. Never did me any harm!”
Rupert Murdoch; “My father taught me the value of money. Never did me any harm!”